Trusting the Uncomfortable.

Floating on a calm body of water. The top of my head resting on my stand up paddleboard. My hands interlaced behind my head. Forearms pressed into the board. My legs extended into the sky. Breath is natural. Eyes open.

The mantra, "trust the uncomfortable" echoes through my mind. Silently.

It was not long after I was introduced to stand up paddleboarding. I started playing around with yoga poses. Having no idea what they were or how to properly get into them. I would hold each pose for a blink of the eye. Then go crashing into the water.

This continued on for a few months. Then my yoga practice became a part of my life. It was not until 2014 when I received my teacher training certification when my understanding of this sanctuary blossomed. Meditation. Stillness. Sitting.

It was something that I have never been able to do. And something that to this day I struggle with. But my yoga practice began to open my eyes on how much I needed this.

As I took to the water. Practicing stand up paddleboard yoga began to challenge my view of many things. One being the practice of yoga itself. I used to move or as referred to in the studio flow. If the mind wandered off the people around you and music would bring me back on track.

On the water. I was alone. And if I drifted off to the never ending to do list. Or things that I should be doing. My practice would stop.

This is where the sitting in stillness started to resonate with me. And challenge my world. To sit for 5 minutes. Just breathing. Was uncomfortable to me. In time. Five minutes became 10. Then 20.

As my understanding for this time began to change. The uncomfortable of sitting on the water. Doing nothing. Became comfortable.

About six months ago I found myself again battling some anxiety. And my ego. After a bit of time consulting google. I came across a study. One that I can't recall but it was on the effects of the subconscious. And how it is designed to protect us. From the simple concept of fight and flight. To relationships. Business ventures. And beyond. I realized that my anxiety was just the subconscious trying to protect me. But I had to do something to change it. The next google search revealed the benefits of the headstand. A yoga pose that has a laundry list of benefits. But the one that stood out, challenging the central nervous system. With the body flipped upside down. We begin to enter the fight or flight stage. As the body is not used to this position. With breathe, practice, patience and time. This begins to fade. Now when the stressful moments of the day arise. I head to the water or yoga mat. I'll move through a few poses. Then work my way into a headstand. Sometimes for a few breaths. Others for much longer. Before anyone goes jumping into this pose, please shoot me a message or ask another yoga teacher. There are some poses that we should test before heading into this one. Only to help build up our bodies. If the calmness is needed. Simply sit for five breaths. Maybe counting each breath. Then building into six, seven and beyond.

This journey of trusting the uncomfortable takes time. And one worth embracing.